Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The secret of following God's will...

*It was as if God had removed my eyes and replaced them with His so I could see people as the heavenly Father sees them- lost and needy but with potential to glorify and reflect Him. pg. 27

*This is what is important- each one of us is responsible for how we obey what He has said and follow Him alone. pg. 63

*The secret of following God's will, I discovered, usually is wrapped up in rejecting the good for God's best. pg. 64

*God always chooses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. He shows His might only on behalf of those who trust in Him. Humility is the place where all Christian service begins. pg. 65


 

All of the quotes above are from missionary author, K. P. Yahannan's book "Revolution in World Missions". I received his book free from biblegateway.com and it has opened my eyes to a whole new side of missions. It is giving me fresh eyes to the world of missions and all that it entails as well as how God must be the director of the mission or everything will fall apart. I have also gotten a new perspective on prayer and really trusting God in His will for my life. The quote above regarding the secret to following God's will is so reverse to our society's beliefs. I would say most of us see a good deal and wouldn't pass it up, but is it the best? Our impatience and need for "things" has influenced our thinking in a way that totally dumbfounds those who have been or are serving in 3rd world countries. Yahannan describes it as "Their (the 3rd world country) threadbare cotton garments would not be acceptable as cleaning rags in the United States. Then I discovered most Americans have closets full of clothing they wear only occasionally- and I remembered the years I traveled and worked with only the clothes on my back. And I have lived the normal lifestyle of most village evangelists." (pg. 39)

Wow. As I read that and the rest of that chapter regarding the western civilization and our ability to need everything made me really sad. Sad at the fact that I have completely fit conformed to this thinking that I need all these things. The clothes part also hit home. I look around my room; I have a small closet packed with clothes, many I haven't worn in over a year, and then 12+ drawers full of clothes that I couldn't wear them all in probably a year's time. And there are people in this world who do not own as much clothes as I am wearing right now! The socks on my feet that are keeping my toes from "freezing" are a rarity in other parts of the world. So with all this, I'm pretty sure God has laid it upon my heart to go to a third world country. As difficult as it will be, I want to have to live at that level, in a way like Jesus did when He came, with the lowest of the lows. I may be very uncomfortable and probably wish I would have never wished for this now, but why do I feel like I am "deserving" of what I have??? I am not! I'm not deserving of anything except complete separation from God forever and yet He has blessed me with the gift of His son as well as the privilege to be called a child of God. I have no other desire than to give what breath I have to His purpose.


 

What is God challenging you to do?

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Tis the season...

to celebrate Jesus! This morning started out with some wonderful quiet time with Jesus as well as coffee with Laura. As I was reading I came across this beautiful verse:

"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ- the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ- yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead."
 –Philippians 3:7-11
As I thought about this holiday season fastly approaching and Philippians 3, I was reminded that Jesus came to this earth as a baby and lived a life in obedience to His Father as an example to me. He served others to the fullest extent and yet managed to balance out His life so that time with His dad and time with His ministry came together as perfection. Verse 10 I bolded, because I want to know Christ in every aspect possible, and I fully know I will never attain all that can be, but I as a strive to be like him, I can grow. Jesus had not planned out his life and he did not know what was around each corner, but He did know who He was serving in everything He did. I too don't know what my life holds, but I know that whatever GOd has for me, I want to do it in an ultimate sacrifice to Him.
The other thing I was thinking about is ministry overseas during holidays. I love my family and I love time when we are all together. My favorite part is trying to get one on one time with each person so I can find out what is going on in their lives. I also love sitting around the table, me quietly, and listening to their voices, the laughter, and their stories. Tears are actually forming in my eyes as I think about spending an Easter, or thanksgiving, Christmas, or someone's birthday not around Grammy and Pappaw's table. As I go into this Christmas season, I just want to take in my family, as much as I can, so that when the time comes, where they are not a 15 minute drive away, I can remember. I believe these moments in the future may minimally make me feel the "sufferings" of what He felt away from His father on this Earth.
And I also want my focus to be completely on Jesus. I asked a little girl tonight what she had for snack, she said, "a cupcake!" I asked her, "Why did you eat a cupcake?" and she said, "Because it's Jesus' birthday!" I absolutely love the simplicity of a child's response.

So here's to celebrating Jesus' special day!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

...you are my forever hope.

As I go to begin this post, I want to cry. I am not an emotional person and no tears seem to be forming in my eyes but my heart yearns for God. As days have gone by, I have said oh I'll do it tomorrow...I wake up the next morning, hitting the snooze button 20 times and now time is up, gotta get ready quick and get to work. I know I am much more awake and focused at night, no time frame to work under nor distractions of the day. Evenings come as a time of reflection, both behind and forward. But I have been doing this while laying in bed watching tv. I'm sad because in the craziness of changing living circumstances, my daily routines got off. A normal work week hasn't existed for weeks and therefore the ebb and flow of changes has forced different sleep patterns. I have no real excuse other than the extreme desire to return to God, on my knees in confession that I have placed other things ahead of Him in my life these last few weeks and have sensed felt alone in many ways.

Because I haven't been focused, it has been a bit hard to get focused tonight. But I did open up my bible and chose to read John 3. It seems to be coming up lately and I wanted to read through, a bit slower and really try to understand what Jesus was trying to explain to Nicodemus. I believe the first 21 versus of John 3 are illustrations of those who are in the darkness of this world and Jesus paints us a beautiful picture of exactly how to "preach the gospel" in a sense using illustrations from the real world.

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." -John 3:8

"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not coming into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed." -John 3:19-20

And in the middle of those versus is the all time favorite, John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." It is so simple. God loves us. God wants to be with us. God desires all of us. So the question that comes to mind is, do I really love God? Do I want to be withHim every minute of every day and is how I'm living reflecting that? Do I desire all of God, walking daily with him trying to be like him? At this point in time, I'm not sure I would like the answer to these questions. This is exactly why I want to cry.


So a couple days ago, I posted these questions in my blog as one's that I thought were a great start in getting my focus back on where it needs to be. My desire is to answer these as openly and honestly as I can at this very moment, so that I can see just where I am and ask God to help me fully return to Him in all the ways He desires.
Are you ready to be with Me alone on a regular basis to keep things straight between us? Yes God, I am ready. May every night, before bed be a time where You and I can communion together. May I be able to see the importance of taking this time to be with you so that we can keep things straight between us. Jesus, tonight I come to you down on my knees begging for your forgiveness for I know how far I seem to have run. I no longer want to walk on my own path Jesus but I want to return to the road you have for me, the perfect straight one, the one where you are.
How can your prayer life be different so we can communicate on a regular basis? Jesus, I believe that if I am able to turn off all the distractions and really focus in on this special time with you, it will be meaningful and different that it has been. Jesus I pray you would protect the evening time, that when something comes up you would remind me of my priorities and that I would show how much I do love you in my obedience to this promise. Hold me accountable Jesus to your standards so that we can continue to build on the relationship that we have.
Are you actively seeking My guidance through spending time in My Holy Word? Lately, no I have not. I feel as though I have been seeking every other avenue except your Word for how I am to walk each step I've taken. Help me to focus my thoughts on you not just during my prayer time but through every step of my day. May more time in Your Word with mediation on versus help me to secure Your Word in my heart so that I am able to recall it quicker in times of need.
Do you sense God's unconditional love for you today? As I write out these responses and really think about John 3:16, I know you love me. But I don't think I realize just how much you do. I can repeat it over and over that you died on the cross for me, but my prayer to you tonight is to help make that real for me. I believe, entering the Christmas season is a great opportunity to take the time to remember exactly why you were born.

As I ponder the reason of your birth and what happened during those early days of Your life, I can't help but recall the beautiful lyrics to the song by Keith&Kristyn Getty called Fullness of Grace...

Fullness of grace in man's human frailty;
This is the wonder of Jesus.
Laying aside His power and glory
Humbly He entered our world.
Chose the path of meanest worth;
Scandal of a virgin's birth.
Born in a stable cold and rejected;
Here lies the hope of the world.
 
Jesus, you are the hope of this world, and you are my forever hope. My hope doesn't lie in my job or house or money, no my hope is in You. Help me Jesus to live my life in obedience to that very statement. Jesus, continue to direct my days that that in all that is accomplished, you may receive all the glory and honor and praise.
 
It is in your Holy and Mighty name I pray,
Amen

Friday, December 9, 2011

I am the vine; you are the branches...apart from me you can do nothing.

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. - John 15:5,8

I always love starting my posts off with a verse. Many of my posts only consist of a verse or passage that really stuck out to me that day with little to no commentary to follow. Some of them speak to me in a daily struggle I am facing and others, like this one, point to the road to the missions field. Sometimes I think I am the vine. I lead myself to believe I am the thing this world is centered around, the one who accomplishes the tasks at hand, the one who has everything all planned out and must go according to schedule (hopefully no running late!). But as I read this 'verse of the day' from Biblegateway.com, I was immediately struck with the fact that this life is not about me, nor my tasks that I think I accomplish myself, or the way I can schedule my day down to the minute; No God is the vine, and I am a branch. This world is centered around Jesus, who has every day already planned and can see from beginning to eternity and has the perfect timing for each and every moment. What a humble reminder.

But what has really stuck out to me as far as missions goes is the second sentence in the first verse, 'If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.' In the first part I see that I have something to do with the relationship I have with Jesus. I must remain close to Jesus and He will remain close to me. In the book we, as a children's staff, have been going over each week, called "Lead Like Jesus" by Ken Blanchard & Phil Hodges, they ask some tough questions about this very thing, how are you remaining close to Jesus in your daily walk? (Questions from Jesus to you regarding how your own personal relationship is going with Him)

1. Solitude- Are you ready to be with Me alone on a regular bais to keep things straight between us?
2. Prayer- How can your prayer life be different so we can communicate on a regular basis?
3. Bible study- Are you actively seeking My guidance through spending time in My Holy Word?
4. Experiencing God's unconditional live- Do you sense God's unconditional love for you today?

I see these questions really pull at my heart when looking at my relationship with Jesus and how well I am working to build our relationship so that He can remain in me and I in Him. And only when those puzzles pieces are together correctly can a beautiful picture be created or, like the verse says it, fruit can be produced. And the second part of that sentence is the 'apart from me you can do nothing'. At first I was read it and went, wow kinda harsh Jesus. But really, if the puzzles pieces are not connecting to form a beautiful picture, nothing can be accomplished.
    vs   

Dear Jesus,
  I believe you orchestrate our lives so that when I am in You, and You in me, we can accomplish a beautiful puzzle like the sunset above. What a great and mighty God you are and I am so thankful to live a life in service to you. Help me God to yearn for you each and every moment. Help me to make time each day to turn to you and search out your heart in what you have for me. I am so excited  to be moving forward on the road to the missions field and feel as though without your leading, this could not be possible. Thank you for the affirmation in two great people who have worked with SIM and the positive feedback they had. I feel as though you gave me those words to affirm that I am in your will. God I must continue to surrender every desire and dream I have so that my life is completly submitted to your will.

I love you Jesus and it is in your name that I lift these prayers to you,
Amen

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Psalm 119:129-144

Your statutes are wonderful; therefore I obey them. They unforlding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple. I open my mouth and pant, longing for your commands. Turn to me and have mercy on me, as you always do to those who love your name. Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me. Redeem me from the oppression of men, that I may obey your precepts. Make your face shine upon your servant and teach me your decrees. streams of tears flow from my eyes, for your law is not obeyed.

Righteous are you, O Lord, and your laws are right. The statutes you have laid down are righteous; they are fully trustworthy. My zeal wears me out, for my enemies ignore your words. Your promises have been thoroughly tested, and your servant loves them. Though I am lowly and despised, I do not forget your precepts. Your righteousness is everlasting and your law is true. Trouble and disctress have come upon me, but your commands are my delight. Your statutes are forever right; give me understanding that I may live.

*Psalm 119:143: verse of the day

Monday, November 14, 2011

SIM App/Home Church Communication Update

So as I glance thru the last couple posts, and I realize I have not kept up with what has been going on as far as connecting with the organization and my home church.

Oct 28, 2011 (Friday)- Phone interview w/ Cindy Ely, discussed what SIM International (organization) is all about. Got a lot of questions answered regarding short-term versus long term options and trainings that go with those. From this conversation, I learned that SIM wants me to qualify to serve and seems very supportive.

Oct 28, 2011 (Friday)- Submitted my preliminary application. Basic information as well as basic missionary goals.

Nov 7, 2011 (Monday)- Received email with link of full application for SIM. Everything from basic information, family, health, what I believe, experiences, short job resume, education, christian convictions, personal growth and references were included in that application.

Nov 9, 2011 (Wednesday)- Met with Mark Dalton (director of missions at Shadow Mountain). Discussed possibly locations to serve, what my timeline looks like, how SIM and Shadow will support me together and in how those ways are different. We discussed me taking a World Christian Movement class beginning in January. I need to find out how many units of Bible are required. I need to connect with Tom Pitman with the college and see about taking some bible courses online possibly and Mark is working on getting a mentor who has experience on the missions field and is willing to meet with me, discuss and pray about what God is doing in my life as it pertains to missions. I left this meeting feeling very encouraged and a little stressed with all that is to come.

 Nov 11, 2011 (Friday)- Received an email from Mark. He had emailed a couple who serves with SIM who are supported by Shadow. Their email is below. (His reaction)-"Sounds like you would be in great hands to work with this organization. I rather like the international missionary force they have."

Nov 14, 2011 (Monday)- Application submitted!
I am so excited to have pressed the submit button and allow God to continue to move in my life and direct my ways. I took a few days to gather the information for the application and was able to get references information together. I took one last read thru and off it went. I'm excited to see what God does next, however I know I must remain patient. In a way I thank Him for the busyness of the week to come. Getting together with friends, difficult days and long hours of week lead to what could be a very draining week. I go into it with little energy of my own. I have not had a day of rest since I was sick, a week an a half ago. But I know God will pull me through and I truely cherish these moments of busyness with friends knowing that a time is to come where I will not be able to as easily.
God, I come to you tonight with requests knowing full well that I desire nothing more than your will to be done. I also know as the quote from the song goes; "Some of [Your] greatest gifts are unanswered prayers". God I feel alone. I have many friends who have come alongside and are willing to pray with me through these times, spend time with me, and give of themselves. As I prayed that prayer Saturday night, the next thing I heard from Pastor J's mouth was how Old Testament missionaries did their work alone. I felt that as an answer, that at this time there isn't going to be someone as I desire there to be, that will walk physically beside me, other than Jesus. Therefore the words I began this prayer with I will now end with; Father God, not my will but yours be done.
In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Email from SIM missionaries: 
“We think SIM has a lot of strengths and more than one weakness! One of our strengths is that we are 118 years old. And that is one of our weaknesses. SIM is a church planting mission and one of the top in outreach to Muslims. We emphasize discipline both by and for the missionary and that works with varying degrees of effectiveness around the world.
There are over 1800 of us plus 100s of retirees. Another of our strengths is that we are a multi-national, multi-ethnic mission. And that is another of our challenges. We come from everywhere and work in Asia, Africa and South America. In fact, I (Phyllis) leave in 10 days for Thailand to do my fourth workshop for missionaries on how to thrive on a multi-cultural team. Fascinating. But we don't have it all figured out.
SIM is what we call a full service mission. We have excellent member care: medical (including evacuation insurance), relational, ministry encouragement and accountability, and have in place formats for spiritual growth and renewal including a Spiritual Life Conference on every field every year. Over the years, SIM has been roughly 1/3 men and 2/3 women, so single women have a significant impact on the organization and the goal is that they be supported and helped and cared for. I cannot promise that always happens, but I’ve had discussions in days long gone by about the way that the single women seem to be more significant and cared for than we married ones. But I’ve not suffered either.
We sit about the middle, last we knew, in the list of faith based organizations, in support requirements. Neither the highest nor the lowest support requirement. There is flexibility for missionaries to decide what their salary will be, based on their living situation. There's a huge difference between urban and rural living in many countries, as I’m sure you know. If things are still as they were a few years ago, the average salary portion of a missionary's support is about 45%. There is a list, Danielle can ask for it, which tells where each dollar of her support goes including both halves of social security, medical insurance, administration, etc. I just read today that in the last 20 years, the average American male salary has increased 3% and medical insurance has increased 182%. SIM is also run from the local level, that is, field decisions are made on the field, usually resulting in more administrative costs than if everything were done from the home offices. But we feel that is an important principle to practice. And it definitely results in better member care.
These days, as an organization, we are finding ways to simplify things given the amazing impact of technology. Cindy Ely is the woman who has been talking to Danielle and she was very impressed with her in their conversation. She said she sounds like a good fit for SIM. As Cindy and Danielle prayerfully move forward in the application process, I'm sure the Lord will make it clear to them and others if we are the organization with whom she should align herself. But it sounds like SIM will win if she does.
As I read this, I think it almost sounds like a marketing piece. That was not the intention. But we are, for the most part, very pleased for all these years to have been part of SIM and God continues to use it.”

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Jesus knows me, I listen and follow.

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me." -John 10:27

In the verse, John 10:27, there are three parts to it, two of those are directives to the follower, one of them belong to Jesus.

In this verse, Jesus claims that He knows us. The words from Jeremiah 29:11 ring loud, "For I know the plans I have for you..." as well as the Psalmist David's in Psalm 139:13, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." And I could probably spend the rest of the day pulling out scripture that point to just how much God knows us, He knows our hearts down to last lie and deceit we have told as well as the works of our hands both those out of selfish gain and those desired for His glory. We're not perfect, I never claim to be for if it wasn't for Jesus, I would never have the communion I do with God. I thank Him for knowing me, for knitting me together, and creating me with a specific plan that accomplishes His goals.

And that is the only command that Jesus gives himself. But within that verse there are two parts to our side, one that we would would listen to his voice and two, that we would follow him. I believe hearing his voice can be alot easier than the second part which is to follow it. God is powerful and can use anything to get our attention, to speak to us, and open up the opportunities to follow him. In a post about a month ago I shared about how God began to take over my body, make each day hard and difficult, allowing me to run on my own strength so that I would turn back to Him and recognize His hand upon me. Once I finally did turn around, begin listening to His voice again regarding missions, the weight of tiredness lifted. Jesus knows me, He is my Shepherd, and because I am His sheep, I know His voice. I must listen, and loud and clear He is asking me to follow him.

Now following Him seems, in words, easier than it is. My flesh desires normalcy, to do what everyone else seems to be doing, getting a job where you work 40 hours a week, that you meet someone, the "perfect" one, get married, have children and live happily ever after in God's arms. Well in the bible, that is not how God explains how following Him works. He asks us to leave everything, take up our Cross, and follow Him. Leave everything, really God??? But as I look around, all the "stuff" can stay, clothes, I don't need them all, definitely don't need the tv, I really don't need it. My bible which lays across my pillow, and myself, and off I go. I can leave everything, Following Jesus does not mean "normalcy", no it means dedication, faith, loving others greater than myself, serving Him will that I am. And therefore, I believe I have no other choice but to follow Him with all that I am. I don't desire the normal life, even though my flesh still desires parts of it, I know that if I am living within His will for my life, that He will give me the desires of my heart.

       God I love you, I am so thankful to have a Father that knows me. That is willing to whisper in my ear, help me when I seem to fall down, and gently direct me back to the paved road of life. Thank you for your calming words this morning as I attempt to sift through what this all means. I gave you my life and I meant it. Use me Lord for your service that You can accomplish all your plans. I love you Jesus, thank you for being my very best friend. Thank you for walking beside me during this time and preparing me for what you have created me for. Holy Spirit, you are alive within me. Wash me clean, renew my mind, and fill me now so that I may be a light, a bright light, wherever you lead me. May I not just listen but hear your voice, knowing that You completely know me, and follow You.

In Jesus' name I lift these prayers to you this morning,
Amen
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