Go and make disciples of all nations.: eyes are upon you

"For we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You." -2 Chronicles 2:12

I have been reading through the Bible starting with Genesis back in January and coming into Kenya back at the beginning of April I hit 1 Chronicles. As I entered South Sudan on May 14th I was a few chapters into 2 Chronicles. It's not a plan, I don't read a certain number of chapters or verses a day, I've just been reading until God speaks to my heart and then I ponder.

On Tuesday May 12th, I read 2 Chronicles chapter 20 and was overwhelmed by the story of King Jehoshaphat, the challenge he was up against, his heart-felt prayer back to God, and then God delivering them not through Jehoshaphat's strengths but God's strength and Jehoshaphat's humility and willingness to submit.

“O Lord God of our fathers, are You not God in heaven, and do You not rule over all the kingdoms of the nations, and in Your hand is there not power and might, so that no one is able to withstand You? Are You not our God, who drove out the inhabitants of this land before Your people Israel, and gave it to the descendants of Abraham Your friend forever? And they dwell in it, and have built You a sanctuary in it for Your name, saying, ‘If disaster comes upon us—sword, judgment, pestilence, or famine—we will stand before this temple and in Your presence (for Your name is in this temple), and cry out to You in our affliction, and You will hear and save.’ And now, here are the people of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir—whom You would not let Israel invade when they came out of the land of Egypt, but they turned from them and did not destroy them— here they are, rewarding us by coming to throw us out of Your possession which You have given us to inherit. O our God, will You not judge them? For we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.”
-2 Chronicles 20:6-12
I pondered the idea of a great multitude surrounding me and what it would feel like to hear, "You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you" (2 Chronicles 20:17). I pulled out my computer and turned on this beautiful song by Shane & Shane called Eyes on You and let the words meditate in my heart...

I don't know which way to go

But my eyes are on You

I don't know which way to turn

But my ears are to the ground

You say that I can hear Your voice

So I am listening

(Chorus)

All I know is that I believe

It's not with my eyes that I can see

I'm a blind man fighting the world

Swinging back at me

There's a vision now in another eye

You've given sight to a man inside;

Of a blind man fighting the world

Swinging back at me

I still don't know which way to go

But my eyes are on You

I still don't know which way to turn

But my ears are to the ground

As long as You are lifted up

I don't have to understand

Chorus

The battle is the Lord's

So I'll walk towards You in the dark

Cause I know that in the end we win

So I'm all in

Lead me I'm Yours

Chorus

There's a vision now in another eye

You've given sight to a man inside;

Of a blind man fighting the world

Swinging back at me

The next morning, I had just finished my quiet time and was preparing beans to put on the coals for tacos that night when I heard we had a meeting. Less than an hour later I found out my 3 week vision trip would be cut 2 weeks short and I would be getting on a plane the following day due to potential issues that could arise in the area. There was no fear, not one bit of frustration and a lot of "God you be glorified and take control of this whole situation". I'm so grateful for an awesome team on the ground in South Sudan where I was who helped me understand what was going, that there was no immediate danger, and this is what it means to work in a country that needs Jesus.

12 of us left the next day on a small AIM charter plane which made two stops before landing in Nairobi 7 hours later. I got to sit right behind the cockpit and watch him press a bunch of buttons, look down most the time, and watch us fly on autopilot to our next destinations.

As eventful as those couple days were, I definitely don't want to miss out on sharing about the opportunity to live in Maban County, South Sudan amongst the 135,000 refugees and 23,000 internally displaced peoples for a week and get idea of what ministry could potential look like. I attended a bible study, began preparing for a training on "how to teach children the Bible"-(which I didn't get to teach), crashed a bachelor party and got henna done on my fingertips, did 3 home visits with one of the missionaries out in the camp and met the cutest little 2 year old that came right up, shook my hand and then stood there waiting for me to pick him up, I went to a refugee ran church, and had way too many trips to the SIM health clinic (because of an infected toe). It was a full week and I look forward with great potential for what God could be leading towards.

BUT... I still don't really have any answers. As I wait for a meeting in a little over a week from now, I sit with my Bible open, journal open, heart open and wait on the Lord with my eyes upon Him. I've sat in this waiting place for quite a number of times in the last few years that this feeling of uncertainty is starting to feel normal. I know God has answers, I know He has a plan, and so with confidence I position myself and stand still to see the salvation of the Lord. There are literally thousands of people, a lot of them children, who have never heard the good news of Jesus in the refugee camp. But after all they've been through, they are searching for hope, for peace, and I can't think of any better words than Jesus' to want to say to them,"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." (John 16:33).

I will update again when I know some answers as to what God is leading towards and what the next steps will be. I appreciate your prayers specifically for the decisions that need to be made on whether I plan to return to South Sudan for full-time ministry or if God has a different plan for another country.

Let's keep our eyes on Him!

And a few pictures from my week in the refugee camp: