Tuesday, October 8, 2013

your perfect will in your perfect way

The perfect wisdom of our God, revealed in all the universe. 
All things created by his hand, and held together at his command.
He knows the mysteries of the seas, the secrets of the stars are His.
He guides the planets on their way, and turns the earth through another day.

The matchless wisdom of His ways, that mark the path of righteousness.
His word a lamp unto my feet, His spirit teaching and guiding me.
And all the mystery of the cross, that God should suffer for the lost.
So that the fool might shame the wise, and all the glory might go to Christ.

Oh grant me wisdom from above, to pray for peace and cling to love.
And teach me humbly to receive the solid reign of your sovereignty.
Each strand of sorrow has a place, within this tapestry of grace.
So through the trials I choose to say, your perfect will in your perfect way.

Each strand of sorrow has a place, within this tapestry of grace.
So through the trials I choose to say, your perfect will in your perfect way.

Your perfect will in your perfect way... So easier said when everything around you is perfect (through your own eyes!). We all face times in our lives when everything is going great, you know you are right where God wants you, and then all of the sudden things turn upside down. We all have those days when we think, "can the bad news get any worse?" And the thoughts that go through our minds in times like these, "God I don't see how you are working", "God are you still there because I feel alone?", "God, are you still in control?" aren't of any encouragement. I have to admit these last few days have been hard. I have had my positive moments where I see God right where I am comforting me in the unknown and then other moments where I just cry out to Him in frustration and fear letting Him know that I am grieving.

Without going into much detail (because it's really not necessary), I am remaining in Nairobi until God opens the door for me to return to the village. My heart yearns to see the precious faces of Alex, Saidi, Sidi, Samuel and all my friends again! My heart desires to return to my simple life in the village, to my routine of life there. But my mind see's the warning signs that God may have orchestrated to protect me from something I can't see. How do you reconcile your heart and mind together so that they are one again? That's what I'm wrestling with at the moment as I and many others seek God's face regarding my return.

Will you join me in praying? Admist the feelings my heart yearns for, I know in my mind that I don't want to return until God clears the way. And I know He won't clear the way until it is His perfect timing for me to return. I have been listening and mediating on the words to the Getty's song, The perfect wisdom of our God" since Friday. It has brought much comfort through the tears and sorrows. Once again I see God testing my inpatient spirit and desire to control with my own plans. It's through those humble reminders that I have to laugh and realize God and His sovereignty is so much bigger than my tiny human plans. And as I pray for guidance I do recognize that my time here is not wasted. I have much more dedicated time to sit down and study Kiswahili, I have much literature to work through to better be able to disciple and share the love of Jesus with those in the village and the fellowship of believers here in Nairobi is such a sweet blessing!

I look forward to seeing how God is going to clear the way and either open the door for me to return or close it and give me an opportunity to stay here in Nairobi and pour out His love to those in the city. Last night at volleyball I was reminded of this song that not only reminded me of my field hockey days but also joy and encouragement through hope in Jesus! Here's to having high hopes of God working out miracles!

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