By the end of December I had received 17% of my one-time needs.
By the end of January... 63%
By the end of February... 80%
And it's not even March 31st yet... and I've hit 100% of my one-time needs.
God is so faithful. Am I suppose to go to Kenya? Oh yes and I am so very much looking forward to it more and more everyday! I've noticed lately that my whole demeanor changes when anyone brings up Kenya. I love talking about it, sharing how God is providing, talking about my living situation and teaching responsibilities that I will soon have. I'm ready to just be there!
And yet I have to wait. My focus (and prayers) are now directed toward completing my monthly support team. Seeing how God has provided my one-time needs in such a Godly way, I have no doubt He will do the same with this part of my finances too. But Godly doesn't necessarily mean quickly. There are many miracles in the Bible where God works immediately, but there are many other times where time passes before He performs the miracle. (Lazarus and Jarius' daughter for example) He has provided my one-time needs quickly and I don't doubt that He can do the same for my monthly, but I also want to remind myself that He doesn't always work quickly. I look forward to seeing how God has decided to bring in my monthly needs in the coming weeks!
And before I hit publish, I want to journal out my realities as of now so that I can remember back to this time in the future and praise God for how He is working, even though I don't always see it now.
Even though God has shown up in amazing ways through finances and my support team, these last few weeks have been very difficult. My calendar is so overwhelming at times that I just want to curl into a ball and do nothing. Don't get me wrong, I so very much enjoy all the time I get to spend with my family and friends and church family, and know in just under 4 months it will all end, but at the same time, rest is not a word in my life these days. Balance has become difficult to do. My heart wants to focus 100% on my ministry in Kenya. Everything within me gets excited when I even think about it and yet there is still things that I have to do here before I leave.
It's hard. But thank God He understands. As the Easter weekend is quickly approaching, I was thinking about what Jesus went through this week before He went to the Cross. He knew the plan. He knew God's purpose in what was about to happen. He also knew the timing and what was to come. And yet everyone around Him didn't. He knew that what He was about to do was for God's glory and honor, but that didn't stop Him from crying out in the Garden, "Father take this cup from me, yet not my will, but yours be done." (Luke 22:42)
He was the only one who could fully understand and live out God's plan. I am the only one who can fully understand and live out God's calling for me to go to Kenya. He gets it. As this weekend approaches, I am seeing it from a new perspective, from His. My prayer time has been focused on trying to emphasize with Jesus. What a Savior I have that has conquered all the fears, doubts, let-downs, and pain I will ever face because He loves me more than I will ever know.
My Savior died for me, for all the things I do that separate me from His Father, my Father, and yet He was willing to take the pain of the Cross, die, and rise again to life 3 days later to show His power over death and ultimately create a way for me (and you!) to spend eternity with God our Father. That's what Easter is all about! That's what my life is all about! I pray it is for you as well!
Here's to a wonderful celebration of our Savior's triumph over death to life to show how much He loves you and me!
"He is not there, he has risen, just as he said." -Matthew 28:6 |