Twakukumbuka - We will remember

It has taken me multiple attempts to write this blog. I couldn't seem to do her justice without just speaking directly to her. Then I remembered I had wrote her letters in my journal the day after I heard of her passing as well as the day we laid her body in the ground. This blog therefore consists of three journal entries, all letters to her, straight from my heart, and hopefully will give you a little window into the beautiful creation of Mama Clemens and the huge impact she has had on my life.

Mama Clemens and I

7.20.14

Dear Mama Clemens,

Sometime just before 10pm last night you left this world and entered into the presence of Jesus. I know you are rejoicing like a Giriama singing and dancing just like you did when you were here. However, I still can’t believe you are gone. It hasn’t hit me yet that I won’t get to greet you walking by your house or see you in the morning bringing us milk. You made my first year in the village a very special time. You were so patient with me as I struggled to find each word in Kiswahili. You selflessly gave me plenty of soda so we could fellowship together. You were always encouraging me to join you to practice the dances for choir and I loved that you danced to your own beat (even though it made it more challenging for me!).

You, Mama Clemens, impacted the lives of so many people and we miss you terrible. My heart is broken that I won’t see your smiling face or joyful voice anymore. I know the tears are only for a time and you wouldn’t want us to sit around mourning forever but this place will never be the same without you. One day we will get to dance side by side again in the presence of our Savior. Oh what a day that will be!

Me, Mama Clemens and my Kenyan Mama on my first day in the village! August 2013

7.26.14

Mama Clemens,

Today we laid your body in the ground after celebrating the beautiful person God molded you to be. It was a joyous celebration. Our Mama did a great job talking about who you were as a person as well as a member of our church. Pastor gave a message on the hope we have. Your body looked beautiful, but I have to admit it was obvious you weren’t there. I caught a glimpse of the beautiful white wedding dress you were wearing which reminded me that you are now united in the most beautiful union with Jesus. As painful as my heart hurt today, it broke even harder watching the older girls who had grown up with you mourn your absence. Specifically E breaking down after the viewing and P not being able to stop crying for over 20 minutes once everything had finished.

There was an opportunity for your family to present a song and the words were beautiful and one of your cousin looked so much like you but the hardest part was she danced just like you. Those fisted hands out in front going back and forth to the beat of the song. That was hard. The tears started falling as soon as I saw her. It was like you were there.

Mama Clemens doing what she did best, dancing for her Lord.

I wish I could remember which song she was singing but I can guarantee it was a praise song.

She even managed to sing and dance while sitting!

As I look back on today I am grateful for the time to mourn alongside our brothers and sisters. I am sad you are no longer with us but we will never be the same because of you. Thank you for everything you did in Jesus name to make such an impact on our village. You were a big part of why our village feels like home to me and I’m so grateful to you for that. Keep dancing and singing and I can’t wait til the day I get to join you.

Mama Clemens and I together at a wedding October 2013 It was this beautiful woman who baptized me with my Giriama name, Kadzo (beautiful girl in Giriama) Ziro

8.14.14

Mama Clemens,

Almost four weeks have passed since your spirit left this world and entered the holy presence of our Savior. It’s been almost three weeks since we had the opportunity to mourn your earthly death and lay your body in the ground. You were still so beautiful to me. As we wore our lessos as a church that said, “Twakukumbuka daima hata kama umetuacha- We will always remember you even though you have left us” and sang some of your favorite hymns together, I couldn’t quite grasp the fact that you weren’t there because you were cooking or praying but rather because you had left this world. You never missed a church gathering, you were always asked to pray and it has been hard watching the pastors and elders pause before choosing someone to pray because you aren’t there.

Mama Clemens I have to tell you that choir on Sundays during church as well as our two practices a week are still my hardest moments realizing you aren’t there. You stood to my right every week and there were so many times I stopped singing (not necessarily because I didn’t know the words) but because I wanted to hear your voice. I’m so thankful I have some recordings of us practicing because your voice is a beautiful sound to hear.

We also have yet to find someone as generous as you to bring us fresh milk everyday. It was such a blessing to us not necessarily to receive the milk (that was a bonus!) but to see your joyful face everyday of the last year I was in the village. Your milk not only allowed me to be able to drink chai but helped us make delicious breads and pancakes. 

One Saturday morning in particular you joined us for breakfast and you held a baby just days old on your chest like she was your own. At your burial I held that same little girl in the same way you had praying that through her Mama and other relatives that she would be told about who you are and fall in love with the same Savior you worshipped and adored and served.

The lesso you gave me is one of my favorites and I was overjoyed to hear one of your daughters holds the other half. Every time I wear it I think of you. Your presence in the village is missed! People are still trying to figure out how to keep going but God is providing us with strength. You were (by God’s help) such an amazing example to me and the rest of the women of the church (and I know you impacted the wazee(old men) and the children as well) about what it means to have humiliy and serve Jesus with everything you could. You had taken the role of so many positions in the church (only female elder, choir participant, Sunday school teacher, previously a weekly school teacher, school cook, special events cook and organizer, and faithful to tithe all you could) to name just a few.

Now that God is finished with you here in this world I’m looking forward to seeing how the church members will step up and fill in the gaps. You left your mark on the church by providing the pesa (money) and having made the front door of the church. You were such an great example to me of what it means to serve the church in a way I may never have understood if it wasn’t for our time together.

As I look at all the pictures we took together, what I see the most is the life you had in your face to give every ounce of energy to Jesus. What fun you must be having with enough energy to never stop praising. I miss you so much here and still have a hard time walking by your duka(store) but I know you are rejoicing with the angels in front of our great God with a new body in pure white. Thanks for everything you taught me about what it means to be Kenyan, about what it takes to serve Jesus wholeheartedly and what it means to serve His Church.

Love you Mama Clemens,

-Kadzo Ziro

Praising our Savior in the same spot she sat every week. A part of me wants to put a chair there just to honor her but the people would think I'm crazy :)

Mama Clemens was the only person from our village to travel to Nairobi for the wedding of Pastor and Mama's daughter. We sat at the reception where she was telling me fun stories and always had that smile on her face.
November 2013

Mama Clemens with Tabitha on her wedding day. Always so excited for others. February 2014

Hanging out with me and Dr. Fawcett one afternoon. February 2014