God, is this a joke???

Venting: First, I gotta set the scene and lets see if maybe, just maybe you'll catch on. (I believe in you!) So I'm sitting at this most beautiful wedding, so excited to see this bride and groom get married. The food was delicious and the wait wasn't too bad :) But here's where it gets good. Here I am, me, just me. To my left, couple #1, to my right, couple #2, in front of me #3, 4,5,6,7,8,9,10....do I need to continue??? God, are you joking me here, is this a bad dream or in an "Alice in wonderland" type adventure. I believe the other single people were 18 and under, kicker, the great Aunt Kay (name changed) who is widowed was even able to find a date! And here's where God comes in, as the bride is dancing with her dad I get two realizations. One, there is a reason why I haven't gotten the chance to dance with my dad at my wedding yet, and two, that is because God knows that if He allows me to get married, I will then want to start having kids and will ignore the passion that is so strong within me to go serve on the missions field.

So even though I sat there tonight, tears in my eyes a couple times thinking about how I am surrounded by couples, dreaming about my own wedding, and thinking about my future, I realize that God is still God. Even though my emotions pull me to a place of despair and loneliness, I have Jesus reminding me that He is all that I need. So now I stop, realizing that my complaining is getting me nowhere, and I decide to write my husband a letter, and if I never get married, then this letter belongs to Jesus.

Dear Landon (future husband's fake name),
   How I wait for the day to finally get to meet you face to face. I look forward to hearing all about your life, what makes you tick, what you are all about. I look forward to learning what makes you the happiest so that I can do those things. I look forward to knowing your heart, what your greatest desires are in life, and how you have grown to become the man you are today. As I write this letter, I realize God is not done preparing each of us for our moment to meet and therefore I ask him with each passing minute to mold our hearts to love Him more, so that when we do meet, we are able to love each other in a way that beautifully symbolizes Christ's love for us. How I desire to look into your eyes and know that you are the person who will be by my side as long as God gives us breath. May Jesus Christ be the center of all we say, think and do and may we always realize that meeting each other is a gift from God. God has brought both of us individually through good times and bad that as we begin a life together, I pray we lean on those times as well as the one's we will create together to remain faithful and true to our God. So Landon, until we meet, may God richly bless your life. May you depend on Him fully in all that you do. May you trust in His perfect timing knowing that His is better than ours. I look forward to writing many more letters to you. May you rest in God's arms tonight as we lay our heads down to sleep in separate beds knowing one day, we will, God willing, get the opportunity to promise each other forever.

Dear Jesus, You know my heart, you know my longings and desires and tonight I desire to lay my head down with promises you have given me that I cling to in times as these.

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. -Psalm 20:45

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. -Psalm 37:4