" I pray that your Holy Spirit would direct my ways"

A quick update because it has been since the beginning of April that I have posted and a few things have changed.
1. I increased in age by one year.
2. I have been doing my chronological reading but I must admit it did not get done in 60 days. As of this morning I finished Numbers.
3. Indian Hills was so fun with 10, 2nd thru 4th grade girls.
4. Summer Blast!!! I don't think there are more words, just exclamation marks!!
5. Vacation to Lake Powell with the family on a houseboat. Lots of reading, relaxing, some waterskiing, wake boarding, sleeping, did I mention sleeping??? So lovely.
6. I almost forgot, my latest most amazing accomplishment, oh so delicious!

marshmellows(not shown) sprinkles, reeses, chocolate chips,
york peppermint patties, m&m's
oreos, graham cracker and gummy bears.

It has been a great 5-6mths and they have also been really hard as well. I came down with this awful disease called being tired 24 hours a day. No joke, from the first moment I got out of bed I was ready to go back to sleep. (Coffee didn't even help) I really thought something was wrong and the doctor explained it as "everything is fine...according to your blood work"...my response, "no it's not". So if you know me at all you know that I will at this point figure it out myself. Ok so I'm reading this very addicting book series and the main character's parents were missionaries in Indonesia. So it got my thinking back to this blog and what God had laid on my heart just over a year ago, and that was to look into missions and possible go out to the field. But it really was since my last post in April that I thought about it and as I do the math, it was right around that time that the tiredness and lack of motivation for life began.

 In my last post on April 8th, in the closing pray I asked God, "that your Holy Spirit would direct my ways". As I was praying just this week, I put a couple pieces together and realized that in April I stopped pursing missions. In April was also the beginning of my lack of wanting to do anything. And then it hit me. My prayer was being answered, God was directing me, He was trying to get my attention, and I was not obeying. He was making it hard, I was trying to go through the motions with no forward motion for what I believe He wants me to be doing. And the reason I'm almost 100% positive about this, my energy level and desire for life has changed dramatically. Just in searching for missions organizations one night and my life is so much more joyful. I'm filled with a peace that is indescribable. My newest realization tonight, God's power is really really strong!

If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. -1 Peter 4:11

So my praise goes to the one who has a plan for my life, a perfect plan. My prayer goes to the God who has the strength to work in my life, in my body, to get my attention so that I will follow His will. A heart of thanks goes to the Holy Spirit for being willing to pursue me when I had shut down the idea in my earthly body to obey and to Jesus, my best friend who is willing to walk with me through this life and lead me to his Cross where I can take my burdens, my fears, my heart and He will wash me clean and make me new. Jesus, the process has been started, I sent in my preliminary application and I just ask that you would either open the door wide or close it and lock it shut. Even though I know that I am not worthy of You in my life or even the amazing opportunities You give me, I do know that my heart, soul, mind and life belong to You and only You. And because of that I only want to do Your will, your plan. Show me God what You want me to do for Your Kingdom for there is nothing I look forward to more than the day I get to arrive in your arms and hear You welcome me home.

I love you Jesus.