1 year!

Today marks 1 year since I began this blog. Wow has God done same amazing things in my life. As unfamiliar and unknowing many circumstances seem to be, I’m in still in awe daily of what Jesus has done and is doing in my life. I was really encouraged last night as I talked with a good friend of mine and her husband about Missions. I really believe God has laid it upon my heart that when I see the description that He has for me, I will know. And through their own missionary background, that same was true for them. I believe God has a specific plan, place and purpose for me in another part of this world and I must wait on Him to fulfill that.

As I have written over the last year, many times I have mentioned the struggle of wanting to get married. A few days ago I went back and read posts that I had written at the very beginning of this journey. A line that I had written stuck out to me, “Father this is my prayer, for you to break my plans of getting a preschool teaching job, being comfortable with my things and waiting for you to bring me a husband.” As I read that, I cried. He has fulfilled each of these prayers in ways I never thought He would. First, a preschool teaching job was what I thought I would do since before I graduated from college. I got my degree and extra units so that I could do that very thing. And my heart is definitely for preschoolers and helping them not only with their alphabet and counting, but also understanding the Gospel. I love making it real for them so that they can see just how powerful Jesus is, how He is everywhere, and how much He loves them. But God has reaffirmed multiple times that working in Ministry doing what He has for me each day is exactly where He wants me to be. I truly feel at peace with this.

Second, how often in the last year have I looked around my room and realized that all I really need in life is my Bible. Clothes would be helpful for the sake of everyone else around, but truly, all I need is God’s Word. As I get closer and closer to leaving, I realize more and more how the “stuff” in my house is just that, “stuff”.  He really has shown me what is important in life; Loving others. I know that when the time comes, I will walk away with a few clothes, my Bible, and many many memories that will sustain me as I am away.

And thirdly, what I would say would have been the one prayer that there was no way that He could fulfill so quickly. As I have struggled with what seems like everyone else around me dating, getting married, have kids and settling down, I have been on this path to go and preach the gospel in another country, by myself. I have cried many tears over not having a partner in this life to be able to share each and every thing with.  My hearts’ desire is still to get married one day and get the opportunity to have kids of my own. My recently, God has lifted a desire higher than this, and that is going to the Missions field. I believe God has asked me to go alone, knowing that if He does grant me the desire to get married, I most likely would remain here and fulfill it, instead of going and fulfilling His ultimately greater purpose of reaching those far away. And there’s a peace that surpasses all understanding when I think about this. I have laid this prayer at the foot of the Cross so many times, I believe I have released it to His timing.

And so here I usher in a new year with new prayer requests, and I hold a trust in God that He too will fulfill these in his own way. Finances scare me, I don’t like money, and I believe that is one of the many reasons He is sending me overseas. As different things arise and begin to become clear as far as the coming  months go, I tend to see a bigger picture and therefore fall into fear. My prayer is that I would trust God with my finances and that even at moments when all seems impossible, I will remember the verse that I have read many times this past week, “With God, all things are possible”. May this next year be filled with many new adventures, new accomplishments and more souls saved for the Kingdom. May my hands and feet be used by the Holy Spirit to accomplish all that He has for me to do in this next year.  I really am excited for this new year. I’m sure at different times it may be harder than I would have liked, but with my God, I know that He already knows what is to come. May I rest in His unfailing love.

Jesus, I love you. It is all about you Jesus and I’m so sorry Lord for the things I have done. Forgive me and help me to remember that it is all about You. God may I fight each battle as Jehosaphat did by command from You, which is to lift my voice and Worship You.

I love you Lord, and I lift my voice to worship You. Oh my soul, rejoice. Take joy my King, in what You hear. May it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.