Pick me! Pick me!

...ends of the Earth.

Lately, I have been struggling with staying healthy. In my 24 years of life, I don't think my body has been this out of whack since Elementary school! First the flu and now some bout with food poisoning/some gross bug overtaking my body and not allowing me to leave my house, let alone the bathroom for long periods of time, and you and I are both left wondering... Is this what it is going to be like?

As I was sharing my symptoms with my Mom, I get this amazing response, "I guess it's getting you ready for what you might encounter next year." My thought process that followed..."I can totally handle this...think about the amazing leg muscles I'll have...oh and leg muscles will turn me into a Kenyan runner...and alas...I'll fit in!" My brain really gets messed up sometimes.

So even though I feel as though I'm coming out of this sickness period, you just never quite know what God is up to. That last statement really summarizes my life at the moment. I have been so overwhelmed with the multitude of documents that have been flowing into my inbox in the last week as well the checklist that still has nothing checked off, that I feel as though I'm really not sure what God is up to. In so many ways He has revealed so much already. I have an amazing organization working with me, placement has been decided: Kenya, and I have a checklist that takes me through landing at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport as well as directions that will get me to my living quarters. So with all this news and the abundance of information in front me, why do I feel as though I have no idea what God is up to?

One word: why.

Why am I going to Kenya?
Why am I afraid?
Why do I feel alone?
Why are finances scary?
Why, why, why???

The answer to all those questions lies in one statement, I have neglected to get down on my knees at the foot of the Cross, and share with Jesus all that has consumed me.

Jesus, thank you for who you are. Thank you that you are perfect, all-knowing, all-seeing, purposeful, and individual. You desire a relationship with me that is two-way. I must trust you with every part of my being, in every circumstance I face and with whatever feelings I'm feeling so that your plans and your desires are what come alive through me. Help me Jesus to open your Word and see just how amazing you are all over again. In Your name I pray, Amen.

In order to get an idea of where to start, I reopened Ian M. Hay's book, "Isaiah and the Great Commission: An Old Testament Study of New Testament Missions". I read chapter 5, Isaiah's concept of Mission, based on Isaiah 6:8. "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" -Isaiah 6:8 The commission that Isaiah was given makes me think of my life verse, Matthew 28:19-20, Go and make disciples of all nations...and I will be with you always to the very end of the age. 

...end of the age. I decided to look at the back of my Bible and find other Scripture that had similar wordings and try to get a better understanding of what this statement might mean. (Now I am no bible theologian and I will never claim to be...unless I have a degree)

Psalm 19:4 Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.
Isaiah 49:6 ...I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth.
Isaiah 62:11 The LORD has made proclamation to the ends of the earth...

Filled with the power of the Holy Spirit, we have a light that is burning within us to share the gospel to the ends of the earth. I have a light that Jesus asks not be hidden but rather shine bright, proclaiming His name and His saving power to those around me. But not just to those around me, but to the world. Whom shall God send? Me of course. And I want to be able to exclaim like donkey from Shrek, "Pick me! Pick me!". I want to be persistent like donkey, "Please, I don't want to go back...please please!" He has a great attitude and a comical side, "I like that boulder, that is a nice boulder". Donkey has a willingness to stand up to Shrek, and I want to have that confidence.

As I think back up to the why's I listed, I can't help but think Donkey would have a different perspective. With the kind of excitement he used to exclaim, "Pick me! Pick me!" I want to be able to respond to each answer the same attitude. So let's try this...


Why am I going to Kenya? Because Jesus' heart is for all people, to the ends of the world. I get to go!
Why am I afraid? The enemy is battling, but Jesus' faithfulness and grace is stronger. I have Jesus on my side!
Why do I feel alone? A lie from the enemy. "...I am with you always..." -Matthew 28:20 He's always with me!
Why are finances scary? Jesus is our provider. All money belongs to Him anyway. This is Jesus' plan of course, not mine!
Why, why, why??? Because of Jesus!

I smile. Yes, I know there will be scary times ahead. But Jesus desires to bring all His people back to Him. He changes their hearts, He saves them, I get the amazing opportunity to only be he's hands and feet to the ends of the world.

"On the road again, I just can't wait to get on the road again..."