Sometimes we just need a friend...

Sometimes we just need a friend…  

To come alongside, put their arm around you, and ask how are you?

January 1^st, not just a new day, but also a new year. A day that is filled with hope and excitement, new routine and good habits renewed.

However, my January 1^st looked something like this. I went to bed around 1am after celebrating over chili and chapati and red velvet cake. We laughed, sang, shared stories and skyped, which I think, fully incorporates what it means to celebrate a holiday as a missionary. It was relaxed and soon after the new year I was in bed…perfection.

I rolled over, a few or so hours later and glanced at the time on my phone…11am?? That can’t be right! And then I laid there thinking, “I could totally go back to sleep right now.” Maybe I slept too long. So I sit up in preparation for actually getting out of bed and realized….that’s not such a good idea. I laid back down. At this point I realized my stomach was in knots and was not happy. Let’s just say I did finally make it out of bed but it wasn’t as smooth as the first time and involved the thought, “uh oh!” to my pour achy body.

Maybe I ate something last night that just didn’t settle and I’ll deal with it for a few hours? Once I felt in the clear I walked out of my room, started down the hallway and had the “uh oh!” feeling again…already. Back I go. Now thinking there can’t possibly be anything more inside me I left my room again… walked out to the living room to find no one there. There were three people who stayed in this house and one coming this morning so they all have to be somewhere…so I (feeling really brave!) went down to the boys house where everyone was. And that’s when I get the awesome, so very encouraging words over and over, “You sure don’t look very good”… yea I know I don’t feel it either! About 10 minutes and I realized I’m exhausted and back to bed I went.

By the afternoon the pain in my stomach and body was without question miserable (and I’ve passed multiple kidney stones!). The combination of that with the countless trips to the “throne” not close enough to my bed made for a very exhausted me. At this point I was still feeling (obviously not right in the head) like I could possible feel better enough to fulfill the bus ticket I had bought and be able to travel back to my home at the coast the next day. I even managed to hitch a ride to my mentor’s house, have a short conversation (I hope it made sense) and then thank God, got a ride back as well. From that point on I didn’t see the great outdoors until Monday, January 6^th.

I didn’t travel. I didn’t eat. I didn’t talk much. I did take a few showers. I did sleep A LOT. I did pray. I did sleep some more.

The first week of new hope and excitement was fulfilled in my bed while I slept it away. I went outside today, Wednesday, a week after this all started, for the first time with a purpose; make it to the store and back. I did, but I passed out in my bed as soon as I got back.

And in all of this I came to a conclusion. When you are sick, can’t do anything for yourself, completely dependent on others, that’s when you come to appreciate all those people (you, as a missionary have said goodbye to) and their willingness to drop anything and be there for you. Don’t get me wrong, I have people here, great people actually who called regularly, made food when I started to feel better, and prayed a lot for my recovery and I’m so grateful.

But it made me miss my close circle of people who have walked life with me and provided me with that security that I can just be who I am (sick and all) and they don’t judge me. Those awesome people that when they see you they put their arm around you and ask, “how are you?” … and mean it.

Father,

I am so grateful that you have walked with me every step of the way up to this point and ordained each day that I have lived. I thank you for healing me and the way you continue to provide strength to get through each day. I am so excited for this new year that is ahead and all the plans that you have for them. I’m excited for the people who you will bring into my life as well as the sustaining of those you have already placed there. I have come into this new year with only one goal, to not have a plan. To fully submit to your desires and walk with you on a daily basis and see what that looks like. And that sounds really exciting and hard, adventurous and uncontrollable, submissive and overwhelming all at the same time.

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. –Proverbs 19:21

Ultimately I want your purposes to prevail and I pray that whatever that looks like, wherever that leads me, that your Kingdom would be furthered, your children would be loved, your light would shine and your hope would be found.

In Jesus name I pray,

Amen

By the way, I'm doing much better. I still don't know what it was, maybe a virus, maybe food poisoning, maybe something else but between drugs, rest, sleep and prayer I'm on the mend! I'm getting a little bit more energy every day. As to when I will return to the coast? Remember my goal for the year?... yea I have no idea! Whenever the Lord decides to send me! I'm working on getting things in order for this to happen but ultimately my return is fully in His hands.