...don't just admit it- confess it.

The "Go" of Preparation

Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24

The "go" of preparation is to allow the Word of God to examine you closely. Do you have anything to hide from God? If you do, then let God search you with His light. If there is sin in your life, don't just admit it- confess it. Are you willing to obey your Lord and Master? (Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, Sept 24) 

This morning before I left for work, I decided to open my Bible (definitely a good move!) and asked that God would lay upon my heart a verse that would change my attitude. (If you've read the last two posts you would see why, if you haven't I'll just tell you, it needed changing!) And of course God was faithful and provided two verses that I clung to today and will have forever (for they are hanging on a card on my desk at work)... and they are both from the book of Colossians:

Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. -Col 3:12


There is so much hope in this verse you really can't read it and not be changed. One, we are chosen. Not everyone has the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, it truely is a gift that we must not take for granted. And if being chosen isn't enough, this verse goes on to say that we are holy and dearly loved. Another word for holy is perfect, we are perfectly loved by God. By God who created the universe, who is all knowing and all powerful loves you and loves me...perfectly. And dearly. When I see the word dearly as part of how God loves us, I think personal. When I write a note or email, I usually phrase it, "dear....". There's a level of closeness when the word dearly is used, what a realization that our Lord not only loves us perfectly, but personally too. And because we are chosen and holy and dearly loved, Paul says that we must clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Pretty sure I could go on for awhile on each of those attributes that God fully holds that we strive for, but I as I think about this idea of striving, a quote from a book I'm reading I think sums it up perfectly... and of course I can't find it! But I will summarize it by saying that as we strive to reach perfection in Christ, in our knowledge of Him, we are already perfect in Christ because of what He did for us. If we were to go to heaven at this moment we would be no less perfect that if we were to go in 50 years. Those 50 hears of striving to know Christ more and imitate Him better would make us no more "perfect" for God. At this very moment we have all we need. There is so much comfort found in that truth. It's not something that takes energy to clothe yourself in such qualities as it is a desire and a want to do so. It was a joy today to practice these qualities among those I was in contact with.

And the second verse was: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as your reward. -Col 3:23


I realized after reading this verse that I had gotten caught up in work being "work" rather than service to God. Getting paid for ministry is a huge blessing, but there is a real challenge that goes with it. My attitude of service to the Lord had been refocused on serving people. I was striving for people's praise instead of God's. (see yesterday's post)...This verse changed my whole perspective today as I saw the list of to-do's as work for the Lord that I am so blessed to be able to do for Him. Yesterday it felt like a burden, today it felt like a pleasure. How transforming His words are to us... I am so thankful for my Bible and definitely take it for granted at times. It really holds everything I need to live this life and God is willing to help me along, if I only turn to Him. The weight is getting lighter, the hole less deep, the outlook more positive.

All I wanna do is make You smile

The Missionary's Goal

"Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem." -Luke 18:31

In the Christian life the goal is given at the very beginning, and the beginning and the end are exactly the same, namely, our Lord Himself. We start with Christ and we end with Him, not simply to our own idea of what the Christian life should be. The goal of the missionary is to do God's will, not to be useful or to win the lost. A missionary is useful and he does win the lost, but his goal is to do the will of his Lord. (Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, Sept 23)

Unto you by Shane & Shane
Helper, keeper, protector, preserver, pro-vi-der
You are my all all the time, with-out rest

Yeshua x4

CHORUS:
Unto you be glory, glory
Unto you be ho - nor
Unto you be praises, Jesus
For-ever and ev-er


All I wanna do is exalt you
All I wanna do is lift you high
All I wanna do is please you, Lord
All I wanna do is make you smile

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. -Psalm 68:19

After yesterday and the encouragement that I got from my amazing friend and the even better encouragement that I got from Jesus, I really thought today was going to be much better. But when you are trying to climb out of a hole that has been dug multiple feet down, one day of surrender is not enough to get you to level ground again. Yesterday was a great start, and I don't believe today dug deeper down, but it definitely was a struggle. After confusion over directions with a certain task today at work I felt utterly defeated. The tears that I desired yesterday, flowed today like a waterfall. I felt misunderstood, lied to, and beyond frustrated that I had let yet another person down. I realized, as I sat their crying, that I desperately desire to please others, including Jesus. It was the lyrics to the song above that hit a nerve. All I wanna do is exalt you, lift you high, please you, Lord, and make you smile. That is the most amazing way to put how I felt. And when I feel as though I have let a person down, I feel as though I have let Jesus down. And this evening as I was flipping through the Psalms, I came across Psalm 68:19 and felt a bit of relief. That burden that I feel of letting someone down, including God, must be taken to Him. If I desire to climb out of this hole, I must start laying my burdens down at Jesus' feet.

Which leads me to Chambers, devotion for today. The last sentence I made bold because it spoke directly to me. I am useful and He has plans for me to further His Kingdom, but in order to feel relief from the burden of all that that entails, I must solely desire to be in His will. If I am in His will then I will Exalt Him, Lift Him high, Please Him, and make Him smile. That just makes the tears want to come all over again. I really can't comprehend the amount of patience God has with His children. Whether I am here or across the ocean, I am still a missionary, on a mission to fulfill His will for my life. It's moments like this where I must acknowledge exactly where I am so that in days, months or years to come when I find myself with this same feeling, I know that He doesn't need me to "work" to be useful or stress over people knowing Him. He is the one that changes hearts, He is the one that allows plans to come together or fall apart, He is the one that sends His Holy Spirit to dwell within us so that He can be apart of us. I only must submit to the will of the Holy Spirit and the desire that He gives me to serve and fulfill His will.

I'm bound to let down people in the future, including Jesus because I am not perfect and extremely hard on myself. And when I realize that has happened, I must do as Psalm 68:19 says and bring the burden to the Lord and lay it down. I must then turn to the Holy Spirit and ask that He place His will within my heart so that I can refocus my attention back on what matters, instead of dwelling on the burden. With my eyes focused back on Jesus, I am bound to make Him smile. :)

Here's the link to the video if you desire to listen to this amazing song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6emANZyTLF8&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL5987AC1474F93EE2

The Missionaries Predestined Purpose

The Missionaries Predestined Purpose

"And now the LORD says, who formed ME from the womb to be His Servant..." -Isaiah 49:5

   We must continually keep our soul open to the face of God's creative purpose and never confuse or cloud it with our own intentions. If we do, God will have to force our intentions aside no matter how much it may hurt. A missionary is created for the purpose of being God's servant, one in whom god is glorified.
   Beware lest you forget God's purpose for your life. (Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, Sept 21)

My hope tonight is to begin a 2 week daily time by using Chamber's book of daily devotions to refocus my thoughts back on God and off myself. I must admit, more for myself as I look back on this post, that this morning, I was at a point that I really didn't recognize myself. Everything I did, or thought about doing made me feel overwhelmed. I was getting frustrated over the smallest things and nervous about every little thing that is possibly to come. But that changed today, with lots of questions, probing and 2 tears :) I became aware that I was trying to control every little thing in my life. I worried over possibilities due to my inability and thinking that I would have to do it alone and in my own strength. Realizing that change must happen in order for me to react different, there must be an inner change of mind, heart and soul as well as an outer change in my habits.

So after reading this devotion, I chose to read the entire chapter of Isaiah 49.

Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations; Before I was born the Lord called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver. He said to me, "You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendor. But I said, "I have labored to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet what is due me in the lord's hand, and my reward is with my God. 

And now the Lord says- he who formed me in the womb to be his servant to bring Jacob back to him and gather Israel to himself, for I am honored in the eyes of the Lord and my God has been my strength- he says: "It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth. 

This is what the Lords says- the Redeemer and Holy One of Israel- to him who was despised and abhorred by the nation, to the servant of rulers: "Kings will see you and rise up, princes will see and bow down, because of the Lord, who is faithful, the Holy One of Israel, who has chosen you.


I was thinking about what I was so wrapped up in, and a couple things in this chapter really stood out to me (Those underlined above).  I was really worried that God was going to give me a task that I couldn't accomplish. I have asked the question many times when it comes to missions, why me? The verses in Exodus where God calls out Moses come to mind each time. Moses gave God every possibly reason why  He was incapable of completing the task that God had given him. To every excuse, God had an answer. First, if Moses (and I) would pay better attention, we would see that God said from the beginning that He was the one who would rescue them (not us)...I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good an spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey (Ex 3:7-8). Who heard the crying, who is concerned, who is going to rescue people from their sins? Not Moses and certainly not I, but the hands of the Lord; all we are called to be are servants. Moses goes on to say, Who am I, that I should go...?(Ex 3:11), Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, "The God of your fathers has sent me to you" and they ask me, "What is his name?" Then what shall I tell them?(Ex 3:13), What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, "The Lord did not appear to you?"(Ex 4:1), O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue(Ex4:10), O lord, please send someone else to do it.(Ex 4:13)... His words ring too true to my own.

But what I learn from Moses' life was that God did not change Moses into a person who knew all the answers or had perfect speech to accomplish His goal. God used Moses just the way He was because He only needed him to be a light, to put aside his own intentions "no matter how much it may hurt" (Chambers) so that the Lord could use him for the purpose that He created him for, as Isaiah said, "Before [he] was born".

So, this is only a start, but I do feel as though I am on the right track back to the person that I am fully in Christ. I must acknowledge that to make excuses, to worry, to be frustrated and to ignore things is not going to make them go away or make any situation better. I must let go of my plans, I must let go of my intentions in order to allow God to use me for His purposes so that His name is glorified. God is faithful, and He has chosen me to be His child, to be able to know Him, grow closer in likeness to him, while having all that I need in Him to have a forever relationship. To begin to doubt this God has left me feeling empty, alone and scared. I'm ready to trust Him, for He promises that when we trust in Him and lean not on our own understanding, when we acknowledge Him in all that we do, He will make our path straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6

With His hands...

What produces Joy? Just thinking the word and I get a sense of Hope, Calmness, a release of burdens. Why does the word Joy just bring a smile to my face? 

I must admit, coming into this day, even into these moments of time with Jesus, I wasn't really sure what I was looking for. Even after I have read, listened, prayed, and meditated on what Jesus did for me, I sat down to write and wasn't even sure where to start. So I thought about what I had read, listed to, prayed about and meditated on and instantly I felt Joy. But why?

In the past week or so, I have put off doing my quiet time. Allowing other things to "fill" the time, hoping for renewal, and instead feeling more tired than I had when I begun. It amazes me each time I switch my thinking and realize that sitting in front of the tv or reading a "good" book is not refueling. Even though I am sitting there wasting away little physical energy doing such things, my spiritual energy is depleting even faster. When my soul is full with truth, comfort and trust, I feel refueled... I feel Joy. 

As I was listening to the song by JJ Heller called Your Hands, a few lyrics stood out to me.

          

Your Hands- JJ Heller

“When my world is shaking, Heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I never leave your hands.”

“When you walk upon the Earth, you healed broken, lost and hurt. I know you hate to see me cry, one day you will set all things right, yea one day you will set all things right.”

“Your hands, your hands that shaped that the world, are holding me, hold me still. Your hands that shaped the world, are holding me, hold me still.”

And so I thought about those hands and discovered: With His hands He created the Earth. With His hands, he bore the nails that held Him to the Cross so that He could carry my sins to death. With His hands, he reached out to calm the storm that holds me scared. With those same hands, He Saved Me.

How precious are those hands. Hands that can be stretched out as if to say, “Come to me with your burdens”. Hands that can be put together as if to say, “Pray, in My name, for I came to provide a way for you to have communion with my Father forever”. Hands that can be lifted as if to say, “I will Worship you now and always”.

His hands held out are the what I run to when I feel as I do now that remind me that His hands and His heart are the only things that can refuel me, only things that can bring me Joy.

Jesus, my Savior and my God. I desire to bring you all that is on my mind, all the burdens that I carry and lay them down at your feet. The daily tasks feel overwhelming, certain one’s I desire no more to accomplish. I pray that you would take those away or that you would change my heart and mind. Either way help me to be grateful for the opportunities you grant me to serve You. I ask you to direct my steps so that I am within your will for me each day. I also want to lift up my future to You Jesus. Help me to rest in the fact that You know my future, you have planned my future from before I was even born, from before this Earth was even created. Help me to be grateful for my future, whatever that looks like, knowing that ultimately my path leads to You. What a sweet reminder of just how amazing you are. You have purposes for us to accomplish on this Earth, but nothing is as great as running the race to the finish line. My life is a race, one that is meant to be run with one pace, not speeding and then snail crawling.

And Jesus, I must take a few moments to recognize what today and tomorrow mean. Easter is such a Joy to celebrate because the story didn’t end with your death. The end of the story is life, because you conquered it. Your plan from Creation to now is being accomplished and I praise you for the privilege to share this great news with so many. As we celebrate your risen life, Lord Jesus I pray that many would come to put them trust in You. I pray that your Holy Spirit would be alive in me as well as the other teachers and helpers, preachers and deacons so that many can know you as their Savior and their God. Give us the Joy only you can provide by seeing people’s eyes open for the first time. Help us to be aware of doubts and questions and give us Your words so that only truth is spoken. Remind us that the story doesn’t end with getting saved but rather growing and sharing our Hope and Joy with others as well.

I’m so thankful for what you did on the Cross for me. I’m so thankful that you didn’t stay dead, but that you rose again. Use my hands today and tomorrow to be your servant, to do your will, to fulfill your plans and to accomplish your desires. May you be glorified in all I do.

It is in your precious name that I pray,

Amen

Saturday April 7, 2012
"Fear is just a lie" video journal by Tenth Avenue North for the song "Strong Enough to Save"
"Strong Enough to  Save" song

Sermon "Be Grateful" by Pete Wilson, Cross Point Church
- You can't be grateful for something you feel entitled to.
- We start to focus on the gifts rather than the giver.
- Gratitude is not based on how good your situation is but on how good you SEE your situation to be.
- Has the gift become a burden?

Reading of Jesus last days by Mark (Chapters 11-16)

Lesson Planning for Easter :)

Blog Post...

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

-Psalm 23

As I sat down this afternoon, I didn’t really have a plan for what to read. I began with Matthew 18, the forgiving King and the unforgiving servant. I then went to Daniel 6, Daniel getting thrown into the den and being rescued by his God. And then somehow I ended up in the Psalms. As I read through Psalm 23, I realized it was everything that I have been wanting. I wanted to know that my God is with me, that He has good things for me, and that he loves me and protects me. He is all that I shall desire, as I do that, everything else is cherry on top of the cake.

And as much as that stuck out to me, it was the first line of the Psalm that really stuck out to me. The Lord is my Shepherd. He’s mine. I have learned so much recently about the relationship that a Shepherd has with their sheep. They call them by name. They guide them to green pastures so that they can eat and be filled. At night, when the sheep are in their dwelling place, the Shepherd sleeps at the door so to protect them from any possible intruders. My Shepherd calls me by name. He knows me. He knows what I desire, what makes me me, more than I do. He puts himself between me and harms way so that I am kept safe. I’m sure there are many times throughout the day where I had no idea that He stepped in and protected me from some worldly danger.

I, at the moment, feel like the dumb sheep. I’ve been led by my Shepherd for awhile now that I forget what it is like to need to look up to find him.. I feel like I can roam amongst the other sheep and attempt to find protection among them. I also need to look up and make sure that I am following my Shepherd and not the rest of the flock. I need my Shepherd. He knows the path that I must take to get the food I need and the safety that I can only find in Him.

Jesus,

Thank you for being my Good Shepherd. Help me to keep my eyes focused on You and where You have me to go. Help me to not rush ahead of you or to one side or another thinking that it may find what I want instead of what You have for me. As I come to you Lord, I pray that you would restore my soul. Renew me Jesus, so that I can serve You in a way that You desire. I thank you for the moments of quiet that You give me. For it is in You that I truly discover who I am and what this life is meant to live for. Help me to seek You more, to seek You at a deeper level and desire to know You better. Fill me Jesus so that I can fulfill the mission that you have called me to do.

Even though I feel as though I am not moving forward with missions, I know that You are working and I rest in that. I must acknowledge my horrible attitude in desiring an answer. You are my Good Shepherd and sometimes, it takes a while before you are able to get your sheep to another green pasture. We are walking Jesus, I beside You, knowing that what is up ahead, in Your timing, is exactly what I need. Help me to rest in that.

I love You Lord Jesus. It’s in Your name I pray these things,

Amen

The cry...my cry

Lord I need you desperately
Lord please take all of me
cause I am crying out can you hear my voice?
I want to stand before
the one that I adore
and I'm crying out Praise your Holy Name
Hallelujah x3 Your holy, so Holy Name

Lord, I need you desperately
Lord please take all of me
cause I am crying out can you hear my voice?
I want to stand before
The one that I adore
and I'm crying out Praise your Holy Name.
Hallelujah x3 Your holy, so Holy Name.

I'm crying out.
I'm crying out.
I'm crying out.
I'm crying out.
I'm crying out.
I'm crying out.
I'm crying out.
I'm crying out.

Lord, I need you desperately.
Lord, please take all of me
cause I am crying out can you hear my voice?
I want to stand before, the one that I adore
and I'm crying out praise your holy name.

I'm crying out.
I'm crying out.
I'm crying out.
I'm crying out.

Without You

Without You- Shane & Shane

I can walk through the storm. I can walk by faith when my sight is gone

Just as long as you are here with me And I can gain everything

But what do I have if I don't have the King. Oh I need to know you're here with me

(Chorus) Here I am calling out Father Can you hear me, can you hear me

I don't want to go without you Here I am can You talk a little louder

So I can hear You, I want to hear You I don't want to move without You

Even though I believe You've taken up a home inside me

And you'll never leave I still need to know You're here with me

(Chorus)

If Your presence goes I don't want to stay If Your presence stays I don't want to goIf Your presence goes I don't want to stay If Your presence stays I don't want to go

I need You

(Chorus) x2

I could not write out my prayer any better than the lyrics to the song above. In many ways I feel as if I am walking blindly and all God is asking me to do is keep hold of His hand and walk by faith. Throughout my quiet time today, I feel like I kept saying over and over to God, “Here I am and I’m ready to listen. Can you hear me? I don’t hear you God, can you talk a little louder so I can hear because I want to hear You…now” And through the words to the lyrics I got a whisper in return, “Danielle, I am God who desires the best for you, and I’m asking you to wait on Me and My timing.” I felt as if I kept telling God: hello, I’m ready to listen, (even though these last few weeks have been quite crazy and I’ve acknowledged you at all the “right times”), I’ve carved out these couple hours in my crazy life and I’m asking that you meet me now. God isn’t asking for a couple hours when I feel ready. I need to make myself uncomfortable, I need to step outside my comfort zone, and meet Him daily.

So, basically, other than the quiet whisper, I didn’t really hear much. I read Deut. 11-13 where Moses is talking to the people before they are to enter into the promise land that, “warning!” false gods are going to appear before you, do not worship them, only Love the LORD your God. I also read through the book of James. A couple versus stuck out to me:

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” –James 1:27

“Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this city or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” And it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.” –James 4:13-17

As I begin to seek God out and continue to desire His will, I feel as though I am to wait patiently. I am to be still, and solely rely on the fact that He is God and I am not. I do not decide what tomorrow is going to look like and therefore I cannot decide what going to the mission’s field looks like either. I need to rest in today, in the amazing, overflowing blessings that He is pouring upon me where I am. I must continue to acknowledge that I am desperate for His guidance and will and that without Him each moment, I may drift away.

I love visuals. It something that I can glance at and acknowledge a moment in time where that object was used by God to speak to me or is something that I can remember something that I need to do. This timer represents time running out. The flow is continuous and the amount of sand inside represents how much time is to be observed. As I think about the mission’s field, I needed something to remind me to wait, to be still in the quiet, as if I’m anxiously awaiting the timer to run out, and allow God to work His will in my life. A timer, something in my life that means so much because I am so time oriented. Before I do anything, whether I have 5 minutes or 45 minutes, I always take a moment to gather my thoughts and plan out that length of time. My morning routine is the best example. I sit up in bed and go through the to-do list before I have to get out the door: contacts in, shower/do my hair, get dressed, deodorant, makeup, make coffee, get my breakfast together, have a plan for lunch, make my bed, make sure my house is in order, put on shoes, brush my teeth, put up window shades, turn off the heater, and walk out the door by 7am. Each step is thought out, I know what needs to be done and I can go through the process without really having to stop and think, what next? So as I think about time and how badly I love to plan it out, I was reminded by this timer that I can’t do that for everything. I can do my best to plan out moments, but God’s plans cannot be planned out. I must walk by faith, even if it’s blindly.