First, I want to premise my time by saying I have not been to the field yet long term. I am preparing for a year and a half service in Kenya as a teacher in a small village along the coast, and who knows what God has next? But just because I haven’t been to the field yet, doesn't mean I haven’t experienced a bumper car collision.
I want to share with you a few “small crashes” that have taken place as I have been preparing to go overseas. When I think of missionaries sharing stories, I think of stories from the field. But I want to give you is a different perspective on missions, one that most missionaries don’t share about, and one that God uses to bring Himself much glory. Because I love control, the small crashes that God brings may seem like a negative to me, but really, through God’s lenses’ they are positive.
Now imagine with me that you are standing in line waiting for the bumper cars and you’re thinking about how you could avoid all the other cars and get a good 2 minutes of peaceful control. For me, this ride is not about bumping into each other but rather trying to avoid all the other cars! I like a smooth, relaxed, and enjoyable ride. For those who have raised support, you will agree with me that there is no better analogy than bumper car life to explain the days, weeks and months leading up to leaving for your first overseas experience.
My first “crash” happened while I was at training in November of last year. My fellow trainees and I quickly scanned our individual schedules to see when the dreaded, I mean much anticipated meeting with our financial adviser would be. I had been given a rough budget before training and honestly went into that meeting thinking my monthly amount would go down… who would need so much money to live in Africa??? Smooth ride? I think not. My numbers actually went up, by $700! This wasn't just a fender bender, as he showed me the numbers, and one influenced the other, soon enough I felt like I was in a wreck and my car had been totaled. But remembering that I was only in a bumper car, I realized no harm was really done to God’s plan, He knew it all along, the shock wore off, and He gave me His peace. I had survived the first crash.
My second “crash” occurred as I disembarked the plane back in San Diego. I had just received all the classroom training I was going to get, said goodbye to fellow cross-cultural workers who understood the emotions of it all and now I was on my own to raise up a support team, mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare myself, and be brave enough to board a plane to Kenya, in less than a year. I remember thinking the spiritual truth, I really wasn’t alone, God would be with me the entire time, but the realization had hit me, I was really leaving. I had to hand over all control of raising the prayer and financial team to God, but I wasn’t quite ready to do that. You can say with words one thing, but if you don’t believe it in your heart, your actions will show it. As the other bumper cars began to hit me, I began to realize that once again, I wasn’t in control. I wasn’t by myself, I had God, but I also had a whole team of people that were ready and willing to give. I was learning that the crashes weren’t so bad after all, in fact, they could be taken as more of a slight bump with the right perspective.
And my third and final “crash” so far has been the over pouring of prayer support and financial gifts towards God’s ministry in Kenya. Every time I hear someone say they prayed for me, are praying for me, will pray for me, I feel a slight bump by the car behind me. And as my financial accounts are increasing almost daily, I feel like I’m in a jam, one where the only way to get out is from help from the staff because I’m so overwhelmed by the generosity, I just can’t move! One that left me paralyzed and in tears happened over the course of the last few weeks. I had received a large one-time gift into my account from someone I did not know. After a week of follow up, I finally got in touch with the person who had processed the check. It had come in undesignated. The last name happened to be a previous last name of my coordinator and the donor was her ex-sister in law. My coordinator has not had communication with her in years but because of their past connection, the donor wanted to give her financial gift to someone at SIM, my sending organization. At the time, I was the missionary working under this coordinator who had the most need (and by the way, they checked my account back in November) and therefore I received the $1,000 gift.
I’m sure other missionaries can attest to the fender benders, bumps, small wrecks, and jams that take place on the preparatory journey to the field, but it only makes me reconsider my perspective on how I think the ride should take place. In my control, I want my bumper car experience to be smooth; however that isn’t the point of the ride. God reminds me that each touch from another car is His outpouring of love to me as He daily shows Himself in so many ways. It’s definitely a ride, and who knows what bumps, crashes or jams I will endure in the next few months and years to come, but I do know they are purposed by God and He is ultimately in complete control, not me.
I have a faith departure date of the last week in July. I will spend the first 2 weeks in Nairobi doing orientation and then take an 8 hour bus ride to the coast of Kenya, to a village, where I will have 2 weeks of intense Swahili language school. I will begin teaching the first week of September in a classroom with a banana leaf roof. Oh the crashes, I mean bumps that are yet to come!
I began sharing with people more intently about my call to Kenya once I returned from training in November, and as of yesterday, my monthly support is at 20% pledged and my one time needs are at 64%. Praise God!
Prayer Requests:
1. That I would continue to be in God’s word daily and in communion with Him throughout each day.
2. That I would continue to trust Him to provide the exact people He has chosen to be a part of this team, in order to carry the gospel to the children and their families in Kenya.
