Part 2 Dec 2012
Missions update:
* My faith departure date is creeping up! I have been counting down the days using the Psalms, and this morning I read Psalm 107...eek!
* My one-time needs ($9,186) has been met! I have reached 27% of my monthly commitments and praying for the $2,072 that's left.
* Reality hasn't completely sunk in... life is too normal, moving to Kenya seems too much like a dream, can't it really be what's happening?
* Praise God! My work permit has gone through; when I arrive in Kenya I will be taken to get fingerprinted and then receive an I.D.
* All my reading is done as far as what was mandatory, I've also finished a book on the history, culture, and cool places to visit in Kenya. On the dock is Cross-Cultural Servanthood.
Reflection
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men. -Psalm 107:8
This verse is also repeated in verse 15, 21, and 31 of chapter 107. This morning, as I read this Psalm, I was thinking about his control over this earth. The fact that the sun rising and setting each day is controlled by Him; the beautiful trees, plants and flowers that cover our views with such amazing arranges of color stand tall admist gravity; there is so much bad going on in this world that He protects us from, because He can, and because He loves us. I am quick to bring to Him my big needs, after all He can make the sun rise, the trees stand tall, people healed with unknown medical reasoning, why not bring to Him big things?
But what about the little things? Things like my attitude on a daily basis, my motives for doing something, my inner thoughts, my "little" request? Do I think because they are small enough then I should be able to handle them on my own? I do, but I'm wrong. (insert humility lesson) He wants all my requests, the big, the medium, and the small. He wants me to trust Him with my whole life, not just the big decisions, the major twists and turns, or the out-of-my-control circumstances, He wants everything. What does that look like for me right now?
It means a daily surrender to Him. It means reminding myself of his unfailing love for me, the wonderful things He does despite my lack of trust and committing to Him everything. One of the best examples I always come back to was an activity we did during one of our week long vacation bible schools. A black bed sheet was draped over a small blue kiddie pool and a tall wooden cross was placed inside. On the ground surrounding the pool was large sponges. The kids were given a few minutes to run around, collect sponges and carry them to the cross. Within a few minutes we had a few heavy breathing preschoolers starring at the cross surrounded by sponges and wondering... can I do that again? I decided to take a step further and gather all 20+ four year olds around the perimeter of the pool and talked about what it means to bring our sins (sponges) to the Cross. I then asked them to grab a piece of the black fabric, that hung around the outside of the pool, and gently lay it over the sponges, in order to cover them up. When we take our sins, our worries, are requests, and our needs to God, to the Cross, He asks us to leave them there. Not part of them, not just one decision, but everything of all of it. And when we turn around and walk away, He wants us to leave it there, for Him to take care of. And by covering them up, we can remember that He doesn't keep a record of wrongs, He doesn't want us to think we can come and claim back our problem for us to fix, no He wants us to surrender it to Him fully, and then He can do what He does best.
Today there are a few things I need to surrender, and I'm going to be transparent, because He knows anyway.
* My attitude. Specifically regarding these last few weeks leading up to me leaving. He is not done with me here yet, I need to remember that this time is just as important to God as is my upcoming time in Kenya, no more or no less.
* Honor commitments. If I say I'm going to do something, I need to do it, and not talk myself out of it or come up with a lame excuse.
* Respect other people's time. Lately I have been okay with being "fashionable late" to a lot of things, even though that may be how Kenya operates, it's not respectful to those here.
* Control my inner thoughts. I'm a dreamer, I love thinking up plans of my future, things to do for people, places I'd like to visit, people I'd like to call, and instead of living out the moment or picking up the phone and calling someone, I keep it inside (and it's not always positive either!). My thoughts need to become my words and honesty must play a key role in that one.
* Time with people. Knowing that goodbyes are coming, it is easier at this point to begin to shut people out, spend more time by myself, and become a "debbie-downer". Quality time with people needs to become a priority, and when I'm with someone, I want to be focused and positive.
* Time with Jesus. I've gotten really relaxed when it comes to getting up in the morning and doing my quiet time. Most days I have 3-4 Psalms to catch up on because I haven't been doing them. I want to get back on track, making that a habit, and not trying to change all these things myself but bringing it to Him and allowing Him to help me.
What do you need to surrender to Jesus at the Cross? There is nothing too big or small that He can't handle.
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