SIMGo: I’m Not Alone

“I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” –Genesis 28:15

“The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” –Exodus 33:14

“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.” –Psalm 73:23

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever – the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you  and will be in you.” –John 14:16-17

I feel like I must begin this by saying I just want to be honest with myself. I write on here to acknowledge God’s hand in my life. When I am honest with myself, my God shows up in a way I could have never thought possible. I write not to get people to feel bad for me, but rather to share in how God is working in my life and ultimately for hope when such things appear in the future. As I walk this journey, I have many times looked back at old posts and they have reminded me that my God is always near, no matter how far away He may feel at the moment.

Aloneness. Yesterday morning, I walked through the woods to my first class. I purposely chose to walk by myself, and just have some alone time with God. I talked with him about this very word. I prayed and asked God to help me fully trust in Him, to be dependent on Him, and not attempt to receive from others what I can only receive from Him, worth. I had no idea that God was going to test this prayer so soon!

I can remember back to my high school days, before I had asked Christ into my heart, sitting in my room, my family near feet away, and feeling alone. I can remember the night, when I asked Jesus to come into my heart, and the closeness I felt, the peace that surrounded me, the joy that overwhelmed me. As I think back to those times, this moment right now is no different. My God is just as close to me now as He was then. In one situation I recognized His closeness, the other I wanted it.

But what do I do now? How can I work through these fears, worries, thoughts and emotions, and still cling to God. How do I balance my dependency on Him with the community in Him.

I must stop. I always have music playing, usually Pandora, and as I wrote out that last sentence I realized this song playing in the background. My God is here, He is real, and He hears me.

I search for love, when night came, And it closed in, I was alone, But you found me, where I was hiding, And now I’ll never ever be the same, It was the sweetest voice, That called my name saying.

You’re not alone, For I am here, Let me wipe away your every fear, My love I’ve never left your side, I have seen you through the darkest night, And I’m the one who’s love you all your life, All your life.

You cry yourself to sleep, cause the hurt is real, And the pain cuts deep, all hope seems lost, With heartache your closest friend, And everyone else long gone, You’ve had to face the music on your own, But there is a sweeter song that calls you home saying.

You’re not alone, For I am here, Let me wipe away your every fear, My love I’ve never left your side, I have seen you through the darkest night, And I’m the one who’s love you all your life, All your life.

Faithful and true, Forever, Oh my love will carry you.

You’re not alone, For I, I am here, Let me wipe away your ever fear, Oh yea, My love I’ve never left your side, I have seen you through the darkest night, Your darkest night, and I’m the one who’s loved you all your life, All your life.

This song is called You’re not Alone by Meredith Andrews. Here’s the Youtube LINK.

My room feels full. My God loves me. My God knows me. He hears my thoughts, He knows my pain, and He meets me right where I am. There are no words.

And this is why I write. This is why I share. Because my God is real. My God is not dead, He is alive, and He is alive in me! My God shows up when I cry out to Him, when I am honest with Him, He responds.

Jesus, you are Faithful, you are Personal, you are near, you are close. Jesus you hear me and you answer. Thank you Jesus for this moment. Holy Spirit, thank you for your work, thank you for your power to change me, to grow me, closer to You. Father God, you are amazing. I lift my heart in praise to you this morning, I smile, knowing You are here, You are all I need, You are all I want. I pray for this day, that you would constantly remind me of your grace, of your closeness, and your love.

God I love you. Jesus I love you. Holy Spirit… I love you.