How quickly I have tried to take over God's mission.

God looks after us so we can look after others. -Faith like Potatoes.

I have another post written, but it's a work in progress, so looks like this one is going to get posted first. I just watched the movie Faith like Potatoes. Hmm. Aside from the tears that were almost shed, I want to think about the message, what was trying to be portrayed? Where does my faith lie? Who is my trust in? Why must I look to God in a situation when I feel deserted?

I can only pray that God does not desire to teach me in reality something that this movie has already clearly taught me. Trust in Jesus all the time. Oh wait, I have been internally struggling with why don't I have an answer?? Jesus, do you want me to go? And if you do, why won't you just confirm so I can keep moving along in the process. Jesus, it's been a week! A whole seven days and nothing. I feel the anxiety weighing me down. Jesus, what can I do to further this process? Maybe I need to do this, or that, and then I will know.

Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Deep breath. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer you. Jeremiah 17:7 Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

God has some pretty cool promises in His word that when human intelligence tries to take over, the Holy Spirit wins. As my above frustrations began to really take hold I couldn't help but turn to Jesus. I think I'm more frustrated that I didn't turn sooner. And as I list verse after verse of promises from God, I try and try to let go. As I ask the question, Jesus do you want me to go? I cling to the Proverbs 3:5, lean not on my own understanding. It's not my timing, it's not what I want. How quickly I have tried to take over God's mission.  And this isn't the first time either. Sometimes I wonder if that's why God waited over a year to reveal to me the organization. A year and a half later and I might have a destination. If God would have told me a year and a half ago that I was going to Africa, I may have completely ruined the plan (which is very likely). So I must put my trust and confidence in the Lord and be patient. Oh patience. Every time I read Colossians 3:12, and it's been a lot lately (I have it officially memorized), I relax. A while back I blogged on this very verse, broke it down, and every since, I can't seem to shake the change within me. One, I'm chosen and two, I'm loved. And because Jesus loves me, He gave me His Spirit to be compassionate, kind, humble, gentle AND patient. I must say, these can be quite hard to live out, especially when you are being challenged in that very area.

So I must continue to rest in these promises. And know that Jesus will in fact answer me. He wants to know my heart, He wants me to tell Him what I want, but to do so with a thankful heart.

Jesus,

I am so thankful for the call. I'm thankful for how you have changed my life. I'm thankful for the brothers and sisters that you have brought into my life to encourage me through the race. Above all else, I'm thankful for You. Jesus, I want to know You more. I want to be able to trust You when I look around and see no possible way. Help me Jesus to live out Colossians 3:12. Help me Jesus to lean not on my own understanding but to fully trust in Yours. For Your ways are higher than my ways. Help me to be patient, to wait on your timing and know that you are never late and rarely early. Jesus, take away my anxiety to know, help me to rest in You and You alone not the mission that you have for me. My life is not about what I'm called to do but rather the God I serve. Focus my eyes yet again on You.

In Your name Jesus I pray,

Amen