...lean not on our own understanding...

Missions update:
5.23.12 I met with our missions director and admin assistant to share what I learned about SIM and to get an idea of what the next few steps will be, as far as working with SMCC, are. I always learn a lot after meeting with him but also leave with the feeling of "so much to do and so little time".

5.24.12 Last night I got invited to go to the monthly missions board meeting because two couples were given their Oral Doctrinal Evaluation. Two couples sat on the hot seat and looked out at four pastors and 12-15 elders and board members. Each couple had written their oral doctrinal statement and the pastors and board members were given a chance to read through the statement prior and come prepared to ask questions based on what was written. I left this meeting fearing I would need two seminary degrees in order to even breach the idea of given my own oral doctrinal statement. I'm very thankful to God that I do not have to prepare this until 3 years of missionary service and only if I want to go full-time.

The Conditions of Discipleship


"If anyone comes to Me and does not hate...he cannot be My disciple." -Luke 14:26


Discipleship means personal, passionate, devotion to a Person- our Lord Jesus Christ. There is a vast difference between devotion to a person and devotion to principles or to a cause. Our Lord never proclaimed a cause- He proclaimed personal devotion to Himself. To be a disciple is to be a devoted bond-servant motivated by love for the Lord Jesus. (Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, July 2)

I'm still waiting to hear back from SIM as far as acceptance from the field. Every time I get an email, and it isn't from them, I have to remind myself of God's timing. A quote that I have really taken a liking from training is, God is never late and rarely early. As far as finding out if I have been accepted, God will not be too late in providing an answer and He's probably not going to give it to me sooner than I need to know. Which is why I really like the devotion above because as I go through this journey, I want to make sure my eyes remain focused on Jesus and not on the task that He has given me. I think it would be really easy to focus all my attention on support raising, doing training's, and figuring out when God wants me to go. But as I read this devotion I felt the conviction. This last week I've been desiring to hear more from my organization than I have from God. My eyes and ears have been tuned into my email, checking it constantly for updates. Unfortunately my heart follows what my eyes and ears see and hear.

I must refocus. I must shift my head upwards to my Jesus. With my eyes and ears focused on Him, I will see and hear exactly what I'm suppose to. I am the vine and you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit, apart from Me you can do nothing. (John 15:15) If I'm not attached to Jesus then my effort is in vain. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) As I search out God's word for guidance, I keep coming across versus that talk about being called to a purpose. I believe God has a calling for each person's life. Some it is to teach, others to work in the office, still others to entertain, but aside from each of those "spiritual gifts" is a command from God to His children to fulfill a purpose. As these three or four years have gone by, I look back and see God's hand in gently guiding me, revealing step by step, where I am to go. I would have never found my perfect college had it not been from word of mouth communication to a family looking for a nanny. I would never have got the experience coaching for five years if it hadn't been for my dedication to the sport when I played. I would never of found Shadow Mountain if it hadn't been for a relationship that God obviously had His hand in. I would never of gotten the job I have now if Jesus hadn't stripped me of my previous job. I would never have found Jesus if it weren't for that one person taking the time to share the Good News.

And as I look at how God has guided my steps these past couple years, I see how He used different people to make His purposes clear in my life. Each of the above changes in my life happened because of a person saying, doing or giving of themselves, most without realizing it. I think back to John 15:15, it says that I can do nothing apart from Jesus. I had to trust God in each of the turns He made in my life because they didn't make sense when they were happening. I look back and see His hand and perfect timing in each of them.

So with this situation right now, waiting to hear back from the field, I once again must refocus my eyes to Jesus and trust in His ways. Proverbs 3:5 says ...[to] lean not on our own understanding... I must rely on Jesus because if I try to do it myself, oh my I don't even want to know where I would end up. Jesus has called me. He has a purpose for me. I want to look up to the One who knows all and rest in Him.