Seek me, learn my ways, talk to me and I will hear you.

Fellowship in the Gospel

Fellow laborer in the gospel of Christ... -1 Thessalonians 3:2

I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him. When I stop telling God what I want, He can freely work His will in me without any hindrance. He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else He chooses. He simply ask me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness. (Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, Nov. 10)

Pretty sure He crushed me today. And I've also come to the conclusion that my death may be near. I really don't like having a phone. Being away on vacation is so nice because I never even use my phone. But for some reason, living in San Diego, every man who drives by looks like a predator and I just get freaked out. Over the past few weeks, my phone has decided to become possessed. It will be fully charged one minute and dead as a doorknob the next. Once it becomes dead as a doorknob the chances of bringing it back to life are very slim and often takes hours of patience. And I'm sure you all know, a phone with no service you can still use to call 911 in an emergency. A completely dead phone is useless. Over 3 hours spent today in the Sprint stores and online with their customer, tech and insurance support and I have absolutely nothing changed. I must say, God's patience completely overwhelmed me the whole time and I truly sang His praises as I was transferred to person to person. When the last bit of news came, which of course was not what the previous person had said, they attempted to transfer me to someone else and it just rang and rang and rang. At that point I came to a conclusion...if I die because I'm attacked or something happens to me in the next 2 weeks and I can't use my phone to call for help, sue Sprint...and I say that in the calmest voice I possibly can. *Tears*

How frustrating this life can be. The run-around. Without God on your side, life can very well feel like my 3 hour experience with this company today. And let me tell you, I surely would not want to live in that state of frustration my entire life. I choose instead to live my life with a purpose. What is my purpose? God knows. All I have to do is keep my faith in Him and understand that He is good. My life doesn't have to feel like the run-around, I get to live a life with a purpose and I rest in the safety of that promise. God has a purpose for my life that is put together not based on keeping me happy but rather for His glory. Jeremiah 29:11&12 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."

He gives me a promise, that He knows everything. To argue with that would not make sense. He has ultimate understanding of everything happening on Earth right now as well as what is going to happen in the future. And because of that promise, He goes on to say..."Then you..." God does His part, knowing the plan, having it all figured out, and then tells us our part. Talk to Him so that through communion we can come to know Him better, better understand who He is, and therefore align His plan with our thinking. He only promises to listen, not to respond, not to do, but to listen. He hears me. In a lot of ways that is backwards thinking to how the world operates. My run-around with the cell company is very proof. God says, don't tell me what you what and then expect me to do it. Instead, seek me, learn my ways, talk to me and I will hear you. And have faith that when I hear you, I will do what is best not just for you, but for all. My soul, my heart, my body calms. I relax. God heard me the entire time. I know I must trust that His greater plan involves me not having the security of my phone. He's more powerful than a phone call and I just pray His protection and continue to keep my faith in Him.

Missions. Minus the fact that I may not have a dependable phone to travel with come Wednesday, I am really looking forward to going to SIMstart. I have received an individualized itinerary of my time in at this traning that seems a bit intense but have been reassured that I shouldn't worry. I'm praying for confirmation and direction if this is what God wants me to pursue. Each life change that has took place has been one that made no immediate sense but could only have been worked out by God. As Jeremiah 29:11-12 says, He has a plan and just wants me to follow Him and keep my faith in Him and His goodness. Is missions what God has for me? So far no doors are shutting, no "no's" have been said. My perspective remains open and excited.                                                    

 

Prayer Requests:
I will be at SIMstart from 5.16.12 thru 5.20.12
Some specific meetings you can pray for:
5.17.12
10am Mtg with my selection coordinator
11:30am Psychological interview
5.18.12
9am Staff interview
10am Staff interview
5.20.12
Closing interview (at this meeting, I will be advised if SIM recommends if I move on to further steps toward serving with SIM. If so, I will be discussing those during this meeting)