Day 4- Vision and Darkness

Horror and great darkness fell upon him. -Genesis 15:12

Whenever God gives a vision to a Christian, it is as if He puts him in "the shadow of His hand" (Isaiah 49:2). The saint's duty is  to be still and listen. There is a "darkness" that comes from too much light- that is the time to listen. When God gives you a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will bring the vision He has given you to reality in your life if you will wait on His timing. -Chambers

Father,

I have brought before you this burden on my heart to return to Romania. I know going there just this last year for ten days, coming home and knowing I wasn't done there. I remember feeling as if I had left part of my heart there and one day I was going to get to return, in what capacity, when, that was up to you. But as I look over the last few days, knowing that this has really been on my heart, my specific prayers have been directed towards this, I have seen you making it evidently clear that I am suppose to return, however the question still remains when? Just to kinda lay at the pieces that I have noticed that I might not have noted in previous posts, I want to outline them because it's kinda crazy.

Sunday, Break my plans by This Hope was played at church that was a story about a Christian Romanian song writer who was imprisoned that brought my attention to really returning to Romania to serve for a long period of time.

Sunday afternoon was spent at Coronado where I relished in God's creation, God's awareness, and God's protection over us and how much He truely cares for us. It was all so very new that I wasn't quite sure what to do with it.

Monday, disneyland and babysitting. Here I remember processing the idea of missing friends, and missing the connection with children that I have in the states and the opportunity I'm blessed with to teach the love of Christ to them.

Tuesday, staff meeting where we discussed the Family night that had just taken place that last friday which was all about missions. Prayers were said, without anyone knowing the condition of my heart or the prayer that I had lifted up to God to speak to me regarding this that very morning, that encouraged You to continue to work on the hearts of those You might have called to the missions field, preparing their hearts now for what you have in store for them in the future. Immediately I got goosebumps and I remember saying to myself, God you really did show up today, you spoke so clearly that I don't even know what to say, but I wanted to get down on my knees and sit in that presence.

Wednesday, today was a day of reflection. Time seemed to slow down and few things were accomplished. But as I went through the day I really thought about the importance of things. What do I think is important versus what does God think is important?

Oh Jesus, you know the condition of my heart. The sadness that falls upon me as I think about not being around friends and family for a long period of time. Oh how I love family and friend time, almost as if I feel it needed as much as God time. You and I are working through this and I am so blessed to have you to turn to at this time. Jesus I really do just shake my head sometimes at how blunt you are with us. The song God of this city is playing right now, completely random on my itunes. (If you are reading this and don't know that song go listen, its by Chris Tomlin) You have greater things that you have to accomplish in Romania and the thought of you using my hands and feet scares me. But I have laid my life down to you, completely willing to go wherever you want me, whenever. I truely believe that and as we continue to work through all the details, Father I must wait.

As the quote that was written at the top of this post states, You have given me the vision. I entered that light and saw perfectly clear what you have for me. Now that You have given me that picture, I must sit and rest and know that you are here, and I must fully trust, I must have faith that gives you the opportunity to work. I am sitting in that darkness right now, and I'm not sure what to do. You spoke to me, I am to wait, for if I wait, in your timing this vision will become a reality and I am so excited about that. Father you are an amazing God. I lift my hands up to you with all that I am, sacrificing this life to You and the work that you have to accomplish here on Earth. People may think I am crazy but You say we are to be fools for Christ (1 Cor 4:10). I love you. I am so happy to be a child of God.

Love,
Danielle